Kilchoman skulduggery

The clan Maclean has always played a large part in my life as my parents are devout clan gatherers. Be it the opening of a Maclean themed public loo or the celebration of an argument over laundry tablets that was lost by a Maclean in a field 500 years ago, my parents will be there, swathed in tartan.

You can imagine the tremors of excitement that shook the Maclean household the night I announced that I would be working on Islay, the home of many a Maclean spat, for the summer. I felt it my duty to find out more about the ins and outs of this history when I arrived on Islay and was amazed to find the most famous events took place within the route of the treks.

Kilchoman Church, sadly now dilapidated, sits proudly at the top of a gentle hill overlooking Machir Bay, Loch Gorm and the distant outline of the rocky outcrop generally known as the ‘Opera Rocks’ because of its close resemblance to the Sydney Opera House. On the ride we reach it via a sharp ascent from the dunes so that it bursts into view.

A stunning church, it is also the burial site of Lachlan Mor Maclean, the 14^th Chief of Duart. In 1598 Lachlan had understandably set his sights on Islay, the land of the MacDonalds, pitting his army against the MacDonalds’ near to Loch Gorm. His death by an arrow through the eye was supposedly brought about by his disregard for a hunchbacked-dwarf-fairy who had offered him pre-battle advice. I would certainly never turn down a pep-talk from such a man. Furthermore, he’d ignored the advice of an old wise-woman who was against the whole expedition in the first place. Lachlan should have probably seen the clue in her name.

Nearby the rudimentary pile of stones, named Duncan’s Cairn, marks the burial place of Lachlan’s foster brother. Duncan was not killed in battle, but was actually part of the funeral party who took Lachlan’s body up towards Kilchoman. During the procession he burst into laughter at the sight of his foster brother’s head bobbing around in the funerary cart. With all the ruthlessness of Supernanny, Duncan’s mother decided enough was enough, she by-passed the naughty step and beheaded Duncan.

As I ride past these landmarks to the follies of my ancestors I have tried to garner some form of life lesson from them…Take advice when it’s bestowed by odd looking people, and don’t let mother near swords (though I suppose we already knew that).